Kenneth: Uhm, what a nice day it is.
Krabat: What do you mean “nice”?! It’s a freaking AWESOME day! 23˚C and no rain! That’s GOOD!
Kenneth: Yeah, but you are not going out into the weather, are you? You are just going to sit in here and fiddle with the computer…
Krabat: Sure. Now that the whole morning and the past 3 weeks…
Kenneth: Only a little over 2 – 1 week I was in Germany…
Krabat: … 3 months has been spent having sex…
Kenneth: … okay, 3 weeks…
Krabat: … 3 years having sex… and I am not working, and I HAVE to work, I HAVE to write, I HAVE to be productive…
Kenneth: … But you also want the heart, that comes with having sex, don’t you?!
Krabat: Sure I do!
Kenneth: And you ARE enjoying the sex, yes?
Kenneth: And you ARE enjoying the heart?
Krabat: Yes! Maybe I am a little bit afraid of when it will stop…
Kenneth: Well, so am I. But when I become afraid, I stop thinking of the future or the past.
Krabat: That is running away. What you should do is stay in it. Don’t fear the fear. It cannot harm you.
Kenneth: But I don’t want it to end. She is really lovely. The way she talks to animals – to horses, dogs… – the way she looks at me, that tells me she absolutely adores me!
Krabat: Do you love her?
Kenneth: Some of the time I love her, yes. In special moments I see things in her, that I find really, really nice, and then I cannot hold it back – I have to tell her, that I love her!
Krabat: Do you love her all of the time?
Kenneth: Not yet. Do you?
Krabat: I don’t know if it is possible for me to love anybody anymore…
Kenneth: Maybe if you swopped some of your work time for love time…
Krabat: I already do – that is the problem!
Kenneth: But you are good at being in the moment…?
Krabat: Danish people always talk about other good meals, when they are eating good food. Why is that?
Kenneth: Maybe they don’t know how to handle a beautiful thing? So, they talk to become distracted, maybe?
Krabat: I need the distraction from my work. I need distractions of love and sex BECAUSE of my work! But the distraction is hard on my feelings. It is hard on my feelings of confidence. I need to work!
Kenneth: And you need to love, and to feel wanted, also.
Krabat: Yes. Great responsibility!
Kenneth: For yourself. TO yourself. To love and to be loved.
Krabat: A poem of love:
saliva was drying on my cheeks
and other fluids too
and I can not wait
to be wet all over
for all of eternity
Kenneth: You go from one extreme to the other
Krabat: That’s what we do, buddy!
Kenneth: But you just said…
Krabat: If you have to die, it may as well be a pleasant death!
Kenneth: Ok. I hope I can get it up, when the time comes…
Krabat: It’s not about sex. Love is not sex. Sex is part of love. Sex is the physical part, the part where you sweat and tremble and spurt and FEEL physical. But when your body realises, that the physical part is too strenous, love needs to speak in different ways. You put your hand on her heart, and her heart is beating, and she is there with you, and she is the one letting you put a hand on her heart, and she is smiling at you, and you realise, that her heart at this moment in time is beating for you too!
Kenneth: Sometimes I feel as if I am just the vessel, and you are the cargo.
Krabat: Even if that were true, which it is not, no cargo is delivered without a vehicle of transportation.
Kenneth: Maybe I am the left side of the brain, and you are the right?
Krabat: Nope. WE are the left and the right. This division into first name and second name is just for fun. In reality we are one. I am one. And so are you.
Kenneth: I am one, with you.
Kenneth: And I love.
Krabat: Okay. I love. Also.